EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

How often have you heard someone say, “Everything happens for a reason”? 

Did you ever watch the Hercules series on TV in the 90’s?  Right at the height of his career, actor, Kevin Sorbo, of Hercules fame, experienced a major health crisis.  He tells his story of his personal tragedy in his book, True Strength, My Journey from Hercules to Mere Mortal and How Nearly Dying Saved My Life.  Like Jill Bolte Taylor, he also suffered a stroke in his 30’s, actually 3 strokes.  He was in great physical shape at the time and yet struggled to heal the brain.  He talks of a physical, spiritual (he went back to the Christian Church with his wife Sam and they prayed together) and psychological (emotional) healing.   He talks about going to a Jungian psychiatrist who helped him with accepting his “humanness” or his shadow side.  “We all have our shadow, the part of us we don’t want.  The ego wants to leave it behind, but Jung said that the purpose of life is to integrate it.”  He admits he had liked his Hercules identity and coming to terms with this “weakness” or being mortal and human, coming to acceptance of this and not feeling ashamed of “being human”, was part of the healing process. 

Most addicts or alcoholics have a hard time asking for help and accepting that as a part of their humanness. His body and his mind “were telling him to take a rest”.  He began to find balance in his life.  He describes his wife, Sam, as his “motivation”.  She supported him and recognized the mind, body, spirit healing process.  From this same Jungian psychiatrist, he also learned that finding gratitude daily for what was working helped him be more positive.  This is a great step to stay positive in recovery too. 

Finally, we can be grateful all life’s experiences, especially the challenges because they can help us grow. Kevin and his wife, Sam, now have 3 children and he is a spokesman for A World Fit for Kids, a non-profit mentoring organization in Los Angeles.  Hockey player, Wayne Gretsky in his recommendation of the book states:  “Hockey is a contact sport.  So is life…An inspiring and uplifting journey into the world of never giving up.”  Fellow actor, Tom Selleck states:  “Tragedy can transform us for the better.  That is Kevin’s message.”  Pick up the book and read it and tell me what you think?  Better yet, let me know how your challenge in overcoming addiction has transformed you for the better.   

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC 

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

BRAIN BALANCE

Last fall, I talked about three areas of recovery.  The first is a need to be committed to the process of recovery and to doing the hard work required.  And, it is tough work.  It is “my” work and no one can do it for me.  Therefore, I am accountable for my choices and consequences of my choices.  The second area was balance and the six areas of balance were identified:  physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and financial.  The third area is living in today or “the present moment”.

My last blog post I talked about the book, My Stroke of Insight, A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey, by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.  She talks about the amazing healing power of the human body and brain.  There are amazing gifts to each of us.  Believe it or not there is a need for balance of the right and left hemispheres of the brain.  Prior to her stroke, Ms. Taylor states that she lived much of the time in the left brain of analytical thinking.  Since the stroke was in the left brain, her right brain now became dominant.  She describes this as “gaining access to the experience of deep inner peace in the consciousness of my right mind when the language and orientation association areas in the left hemisphere became nonfunctional.”  She further states that her goal during her process of recovery has been to find a healthy balance between the right and left hemispheres, and also to be aware and in charge of which (right or left) dominated her perspective at any given moment. 

In recovery work, there is a saying of needing “to talk the talk and walk the walk”.  We also refer to how our head (left hemisphere) as the thinking part and it is telling us to do one thing while our heart, feelings or intuition (right hemisphere) is telling us the opposite.  There are numerous ways to describe the two hemispheres and she believes they are very separate and distinct.  Therefore, it is important to honor both thoughts and feelings and to find alignment here.  She used the phrase “step to the right” when she found she was over thinking and needed to relax and allow the feeling/intuitive right brain to come forth.  Just spend some time checking in with yourself?  Which hemisphere of the brain is more dominant?  Can you choose to “shift to the right”?  Often addicts, substance abusers (alcohol/drugs) use their addiction to avoid the right hemisphere feeling brain?  How comfortable are you with your feelings?  How comfortable are you with working with feelings and thoughts and finding that balance? 

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC 

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

HEALING THE BRAIN IN RECOVERY

I have been challenged to blog once a week and I am making a commitment to do so.  No, this was not originally one of my New Year’s Resolutions, however, it now is. 

I recently finished reading the book My Stroke of Insight, a Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.  At age 37 she suffered a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain.  She states it took 8 years, however, she has now healed her brain completely and her book recounts her journey.  It is a powerful read in further understanding the brain, the right and left hemispheres, and the brains amazing capacity to heal. Since alcohol and drugs also affect the brain, I learned some important tools that can apply for healing the brain in recovery from addiction.  In her Appendix B at the back of the book, she lists Forty Things I Needed the Most.  I am not going to repeat all 40, however, I am going to paraphrase the first 5 and compare healing in recovery from addiction. 

Number 1 – I am not stupid, I am wounded.  Please respect me.  When someone is wounded physically it is easy to see and be empathetic, however, when one’s brain is wounded, it is hard to see and appreciate just how severe the wound may be.  In the process of recovery, it is important to respect ourselves and how we have wounded our brain enough to do the work of healing.  Dr. Taylor spent eight years working and challenging herself to heal her brain completely.  She is living proof, it can be done!  Yes, she had a great support group, however, she did the hard work. 

Number 2 – Come close, speak slowly and enunciate clearly.  Here she talks about how energy can be positive or negative to our healing.  Those who are loud and speak fast with nervous energy is counter-productive.  How is our own energy and how is the energy of others around us. 

Number 3 – repeat yourself, assume I know nothing and start from the beginning over and over. So many times I hear from client, “ I know all that, I have been to treatment before”.  Perhaps repetition is needed for my brain to internalize and for me to take action? 

Number 4 – Be patient with me the 20^th time you teach me something, as you were the first.  The average for treatment experiences by clients with addictions is 8.  How patient can we be with ourselves and with others in the recovery process? 

Number 5 – Approach me with an open heart and slow your energy down.  Take your time.  Hopefully, we can approach our recovery and healing with an open heart and offer the same to others. 

Again, any thoughts and comments from others is greatly appreciated.

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC 

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

SPIRITUALITY - We are all spiritual beings having a human experience

Time flies and another week is here.  Today let's talk about spirituality as a part of the six areas of balance.  As Carol Lynn Pearson says in her great little book, "Embracing Coincidence", "I have lived my life by faith, choosing to believe that life has to make sense, choosing to believe there is Spirit behind matter, choosing to believe consciousness survives death, choosing to believe there is a God and that God is good."  Today, I believe this with all my heart and mind.  As a child growing up I was taught to fear God if I was not "good enough" or if I was not perfect.  As stated in the title we are human beings here having a spiritual experience.  Being human, I learn and grow through trial and error.  I am not perfect, nor do I need to be.  It is enough to "always do my best".  Today, I know God's love is unconditional and that I can choose to live in love or fear.  I choose LOVE.  In his book, "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz gives us four important truths to guide our life.  First, is be impeccable with your word and to cultivate faith.  "To have great faith is to have great power, because your intent, your will is undivided.  When your work isn't dissipated by doubt, the power of your work becomes even stronger."  Faith is not sure knowledge it is more a belief.  What do I believe?  Do I believe in God and his love for me and his desire for me to become the best me?  Do I believe there is a higher, best me and I can become better?  Do I believe that God or the Universe supports my growth?  Don Miguel Ruiz's fourth agreement is "always do your best". My "best" is differenct from day to day.  Ruiz states:  "You do your best when you are enjoying the action or doing it in a way that will not have negative repercussions for you.  You do your best because you "want" to do it - not because you "have" to do it; not because you are trying to please the judge, and not because you are trying to please other people."  Have you heard it said, "It is progress not perfection"?  Am I better today than yesterday, am I better this year than last year?  How is my progress? Spiritual balance indicates the need for progress and so recovery is about continual growth.  To me an important part of spirituality is gratitude, being grateful for all good gifts and grateful for my life just as it is today.  Do you have a gratitude list?  To increase spirituality, it is helpful to write down each day, five to ten things for which you are grateful.  It is a great reminder of how blessed I am and I try to do this daily.  Give it a try, perhaps it will work for you too.  In her book, "Lovingkindness", Sharon Salzberg reminds us:  We may look for that which is stable, unchanging, and safe, but awareness teaches us that such a search cannot succeed.  Everything in life changes.  The path to true happiness is one of integrating and fully accepting all aspects of our experience.  Ying and yang, circle half dark and half light....  Unity, integration, comes from deeply accepting darkness and light, and therefore being able to be in both simultaneously.  We must move from trying to control the uncontrollable cycles of pleasure and pain, and instead learn how to connect, to open, to love not matter what is happening.   I will close with the Serenity Prayer said at the end of 12 Step meetings.  "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.  Today, I choose LOVE and light even living amidst the darkness.

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

SOCIAL BALANCE - Having Fun

Another week has flown by and now we will be discussing social balance as a part of self-care in recovery.  Remember the old John Doone poem:  "No man is an island"?  The song adapted from the poem states:  "No man is an island; no man stands alone.  Each man is my brother; each man is my friend."  Humans are social beings.  We need social support. However, if my social support has been my using friends, it is important to find people that are supportive of my recovery efforts.  Letting go of using friends often is a concern for most people in recovery, however, it is often a safety issue early in recovery. 

Most often when we talk social support, people talk about family support and families can be a great support and help.  However, there are other support systems.  Twelve Step groups offer great support and also anonymity or the idea that I can go to a meeting, share, and feel safe.  As well as meetings, there are sponsored activities in which to participate, ie., dances, camping.  A sponsor is there to help me understand and work through the 12 Steps.  Some people find support through their church and some churches offer 12 Step meetings and workbooks to use to work through the 12 Steps.   There are several Christian workbooks and even a Native American workbook.  Let me know of others that you have used or like?  There are many paths to support.  I talked to a friend in SLC who went to a weekend retreat for women through a Christian group and had an amazing experience and recognized her sober women friends are a strong social support.  She talked about taking a Tai Chi class and how much she loved it.  I can meet other like minded people when I try a class and I am willing to learn.  TurningLeaf Wellness Center has offered yoga and Zumba classes.  How about Tai Chi?? 

People in my work environment can also be a support.  Another man I know in recovery likes to hire other people in recovery and make the workplace a part of their support system.  Are you having fun?  A big part of social balance is to enjoy life and have fun.  When is the last time you blew bubbles or bounced a pebble across the water.  Going to Zions Park is a close, fun retreat for all of us in the St. George area.  What is your favorite way to have fun and nurture the child within? 

I am going to share a story from Carol Lynn Pearson from her book "Embracing Coincidences" entitled STOP and START.   "So tired.  I had lain awake most of the night staring at the ceiling, racked with concern.  This morning I made myself walk to the park.  Coming back, despite the warm sun and the cheery bird calls, I found myself spiraling down, down....allowing the worst possible scenario to play out in my mind.  "Stop!"  The voice was loud and sure.  It was my own voice.....I took a few deep breaths and opened my eyes.  The first thing that appeared in my vision was a word, a work in large, white block letters only ten feet away from me on the asphalt path:  STOP.  The path was about to meet the street.  But I had been about to meet the abyss (mentally).  A warning sign.  Hours later, I was leaving my granddaughter's elementary school, where I had been with both the kindergarten and first grade classes, doing "creative drama" with Aesop's fables.  Still tired, I was hurrying to my car, cutting across the schoolyard.  There, under my feet, what was I standing on?  A word.  A word in large, white block letters on the asphalt playground:  START.  Start?  Playing? Learning?  Becoming a child?  Trusting?  An invitation." 

And so, my invitation to you this week is to play and have fun sober.  I would love to hear what you find to do and with whom??

EMOTIONAL BALANCE - Honoring Feelings and Emotions

Last week we discussed mental balance as one of the six areas of balance. This week the third area of balance to be discussed is emotional balance. The Level 1 Seminar is as important for emotional balance as it is for mental. Do you remember the Serenity Prayer said at the end of Twelve Step meetings? “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. How often do you feel peaceful and serene? Many of us try to avoid feeling emotional pain or discomfort. We may use alcohol and/or drugs to avoid feelings; to escape from feeling pain. Sometimes, we may even escape the joy or sabotage our own success if we are not feeling “good enough” or “worthy”. Sometimes we are feeling the guilt and shame of our thoughts or actions and this keeps us stuck in our addictions. Remember, feelings are not good or bad they are just feelings. They are clues to my emotional state moment to moment. I can accept and honor: “this is what I am feeling” and then choose how to work with the feelings. I can choose constructive or destructive ways to handle my emotions. For example, if I am feeling angry, I can go to the gym rather than “punch” a wall or someone. Galileo reminds us: “We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.” Discovering and honoring feelings can be rewarding and it helps us identify with others as we all feel feelings . In Seminar, we learn there are two ways to live life: coming from love or coming from fear. A Course in Miracles states: Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love. But only perfect love exists. If there is fear, it produces a state that does not exist. And Emily Dickinson wrote: That love is all there is, Is all we know of love. I have found meditation most helpful in getting to know and honor my feelings. What have you found? Click the "Contact Us" tab at the top of the page and let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeafWellnessCenter.com

Mental Balance and Self-Care - Take your Power Back

In my last blog, physical balance of self-care in relation to Substance Abuse Recovery was discussed.  Today let's talk about mental self-care as a part of the six areas of balance.  How often to you check in with your mind and your thoughts?  Are you a positive or a negative thinker?  Do you believe that you have a choice to change your thoughts?  Are your thoughts working for you are against you?  As you thought about each of these questions, hopefully, you are aware that you have the power and the choice to change the way you think.  You are responsible for your thoughts.  Certainly there are people from the past who have influenced the way you think and there are people today who may still influence your thoughts.  You, however, have the power to choose whether or not you are influenced.  One of the first things to consider, is experimenting with challenging your thoughts and taking back some of your personal power.  How willing are you?  I find it helpful to think of the brain as a computer that has been programmed.  You have done the programming and you can choose to reprogram your thinking.  Certainly people have been influenced the programming, however, you alone choose to keep the negative programs running.  So, choose today to make a different choice and put boundaries around those thoughts.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said:  "People only see what they are prepared to see."  Or Robertson Davis said:  The eyes see only what the mind is prepared to comprehend."  Are you stuck in a self-limiting belief system because of this?  In our Substance Abuse Recovery and Life Skills Group, we address this and it is a start.  Have you worked with Affirmations?  This is a way to start reprogramming the brain.  However, if you really want to challenge your belief system attend a Personal Development Seminar offered by TurningLeaf.   The Level I Seminar is a part of the Intensive Outpatient program and will help anyone start to identify self-limiting beliefs and thoughts and begin to think and be more positive and loving.  You can improve your life in so many ways and it is my joy to see people make positive changes in their thoughts and actions.  Do not doubt, you can do it.  As stated by William Shakespeare:  "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt".  We are here to show you ways to take back your personal power and live a more fulfilled and joyful life.

Sue Judd, MSS, LSAC

Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor

TurningLeaf Wellness Center